Life of the Party
Part of the Benevolent Sin Collection.
“Life of the Party” marks a monumental shift in my discography. After years of releasing solo-produced bedroom rap, this was my first single recorded in a professional studio space with trained musicians. During my junior year as an audio engineering student at Millikin University, I got the chance to direct a class of music students in performing an original composition at Millitrax Studios. I took the opportunity to create something that could never be replicated in a digital environment, using complex rhythms and cinematic harmonies that take full advantage of the incredible tones of expertly played electric guitars and violins.
“Life of the Party” being recorded in Millitrax Studio A, photo credit: Mackenzie Mann
Production:
My studio session was managed by a team of student engineers and performers that I personally recruited for the task. In the weeks prior, I planned every detail and kept my crew prepared with up-to-date resources. Alongside my original demo track, I supplied my performers with individual practice tracks and sheet music. At the same time, I drafted setup diagrams and microphone lists for my studio engineers. From the very beginning of my career working in recording studios, my goal has always been to keep every facet of the process organized and informative.
Theory could only take me so far, however, and this first trial by fire in the studio was rife with mistakes and learning moments. Looking back, my microphone choices and session layout didn’t make the most sense, and I had to make course corrections on the fly to keep things going smoothly. Being my first endeavor as a studio producer, I was naturally quite anxious, but my incredible team came prepared to help and bring my vision to life. Everyone played their parts excellently, and I was very proud of my own performance despite my initial reservations. Not only was this my first time performing my vocals in front of an audience, but it was also my first time being emotionally vulnerable for most of the people in the room with me. Performing drum takes for hours on end was also a uniquely exhausting experience. While my night started with uncontrollable anxiety, it ended with an unmatched sense of accomplishment, and every session since has started with increasing ease, confidence, and productivity.
Lyrics:
(Content Warning: violence, suicide, self-harm)
“It’s my life, but it’s your party.”
My lyrics tell a story of deep personal trauma and the morbid lifelong struggles that come with it. I was traumatized by a group of my best friends during my freshman year of college. I put my trust in the wrong people, and for months, I was gaslit, manipulated, and pushed to my breaking point. When it was all over, I was left friendless and completely alone on my small campus. It was an indescribably destructive setback in what was meant to be the most formative point of my life, and the repercussions would haunt me for years to come. Some of these people had hurt me so deeply that their mere presence could trigger an emotional spiral. Any social event became a risk, and parties on campus were by far the most dangerous.
I’ve never been one to enjoy large parties, and my trauma made them ever harder to stomach. The same people who had devastated my life were mainstays at the fraternities on campus. It was only ever a matter of time before we would come face to face in these cramped venues. My abusers were the life of the party. Still, I was convinced it was a social rite of passage to attend these events. And during my underclassman years, my need for community superseded my fear of another traumatic episode.
“Nights like this end in bloodshed.”
“Life of the Party” is a diorama of unspeakable trauma. The topics I discuss—violent desires, self-harm, suicidal thoughts—are intimately real parts of the human experience that most have labeled as too taboo for discussion. As the night progresses, I let my vices take control of my decision-making. I start fantasizing about dying then and there. I indulge in an old suicidal reflex of abusing my antidepressants until I feel numb and violently ill. I imagine revenge through martyrdom. I was incredibly unhealthy back then, and I had an entire lifetime of bad luck and emotional abuse to fuel my emotional spiral. It’s painful and uncomfortable to discuss, but the pain and discomfort are the exact qualities that make Benevolent Sin real. May those nights be the worst I have to face in this life.
Post-Production:
Following that first night in the studio, I held a brief overdub session in the significantly smaller Millitrax Studio B. There, I recorded my final vocal takes, along with strings, choir passages, and Stela Hyden’s solo vocal features. This was when my comprehensive vision for the song’s larger-than-life sonic identity truly came together, and I was finally ready to start mixing and mastering.
The mix for this track was uniquely challenging. In the main body of the song, there are an overwhelming number of voices competing for the listener’s attention. If managed correctly, everything would mesh into a lush, densely orchestrated symphony. But if just one of these elements were mixed improperly, the entire composition could easily fall into a cacophonous mess. A great deal of trial and error was used before finding the ideal balance, and the challenge helped me hone my mixing skills in the process. Mastering was simple in comparison. I took excellent care in my adjustments, but I chose to keep my interference minimal and let the mix do the heavy lifting. This was by far my favorite mix and master at the time I released it, and I find it indicative of the major improvements in my technical ability during my undergraduate years.
“Life of the Party” cover art, graphic design
Performance Credits:
Lead Guitar: Nolan Bunger
Rhythm Guitar: Cameron Gouard
Electric Bass: Tripp Pelichoff
Violin: Audrey Soetermans
Drumset: Colby Wygal
Lead Vocals: Colby Wygal
Supporting Vocals: Stela Hyden
Choir 1: Audrey Soetermans
Choir 2: Jarrett Newsome
Choir 3: Jarrett Newsome
Production Credits:
Songwriter: Colby Wygal
Producer: Colby Wygal
Producer: Nolan Bunger
Head Recording Engineer: Austin Haga
Assistant Recording Engineer: Marie Pribbernow
Assistant Recording Engineer: Colby Wygal
Head Overdub Engineer: Nolan Bunger
Mixing/Mastering Engineer: Colby Wygal
Cover Art: Colby Wygal
Life of the Party: Cover Art & Teaser Video
“Life of the Party” teaser video,
videography, sound design, music
Cover Art:
The cover art for this single is perhaps the most raw and provocative in my discography. What you see is a real photo of me and my best friends from freshman year of college. I blurred and distorted the faces for anonymity and to depict the uncanny feeling of grieving the living. The original photo radiated a naive excitement about suddenly having so many friends that taking a picture with all of them was nearly impossible. We were convinced that this was the best time of our life and absolutely nothing could come between us. At the time of releasing this single, all but four of the people in this photo had become permanently severed from my life, and those who remained felt irreparably distant from before. My artwork is a disturbed and spiteful effigy of a bygone time doomed to never return. It pushes boundaries and challenges the unwritten rules of what music visuals can look like, being uncomfortably real in a medium where fantasy and anonymity are a comfort.
Teaser Video:
To promote the upcoming release of this single, I filmed an original teaser short for social media. It’s a chaotic depiction of the internal turmoils of public trauma. I portray myself at a party, with loud music, unintelligible conversations, and disorienting lights filling the room. I sit on the sidelines as I often would at the time, fighting deep personal battles while attempting to keep my external presentation unknowable.
My outfit is a perfect expression of the person I wanted to be in that moment. It’s bold, feminine, and sex-positive. This is what party girls look like, right? I’ve always found it empowering to dress up like this, but that only makes it more belittling when all that confidence withers away with a single glance. Looking helpless while draped in the image of self-assurance made me feel that I had lost control of all aspects of my life. As panic continues to surge to the surface, I stand up, and walk out of the room. As the question of what I’ll do next rises, the screen goes black and the single’s heavy metallic chorus pounds into your soul.
I wrote and filmed this video as a solo shoot, using a static camera and an automated LED light to achieve the desired effect. Sound design played a major role in selling the scene. I mixed layers of conversation with the fantastic guitar solo at the end of my song to create the illusion of a lively space while I filmed in a completely empty room. I think this short perfectly encapsulates what this song means to me, and what my anxiety-filled life often looked like during the early years of my undergraduate career.
Conclusion:
“Life of the Party” was a massive moment that completely recontextualized my career as an artist. Not only is it the culmination of months of writing, planning, producing, mixing, and mastering, but it is also a cornerstone achievement representing years of formal education and a lifetime of passion for the arts. It’s raw, vulnerable, disturbing, and undeniably beautiful despite the pain it depicts. This is what Benevolent Sin is all about.
